I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
drinking out of a sandbucket again
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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