Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
