no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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