It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
