He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Green mimosas i think yes
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
