I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
