sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
