Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I believe in your delicious
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
tell me about the fingering
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
