none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
