Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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