it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
