Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
