yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
