I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
