We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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