i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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