The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Randomize
