no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Mom said you looked used
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
