LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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