Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize
