Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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