So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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