This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
