Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
