Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
