I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
