i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
