hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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