she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
