Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
