the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
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