ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
