Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
