worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
