So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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