How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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