The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize