Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize