Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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