i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
