I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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