Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
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