Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
