I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
