I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
There r osticjed everywhere
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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