your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
