Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
