There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
