wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
