New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize