The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
