ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
