I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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