You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I can't put those talents on a resume
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
