I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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