I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
