This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
