I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
