Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
