I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I am naked and annoyed.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
