scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize
