You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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