so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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