She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
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